He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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