it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
