drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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