no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
there is glitter all over my balls
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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