She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
