He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
