$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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