i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
