i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
