Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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