he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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