New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She told me I should be a condom model.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
