I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
