Kareoke will never be a sober sport
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
