you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
