I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
