between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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