Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
