Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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