I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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