i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
