I just saw a hot homeless man
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
