**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
