It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize