when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
