all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
