So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I AM VODKA MAN
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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