It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
