weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
