let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
