return my video game
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
