Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
