I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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