she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
