What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
