All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
