We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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