And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
