I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
