just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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