A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize