You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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