My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
