i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
