yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
