i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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