YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
