...so i touched it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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