kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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