He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
