I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
