Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
