Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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