I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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