I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
