Your dad touched me again.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
