i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
